Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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