if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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