Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
