2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
