no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize