apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
