Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
