I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
