After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
