Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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