oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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