I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They are going to name an STD after you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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