I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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