I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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