barbara walters just said penis...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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