FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
