I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
