I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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