So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
