she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
