I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
