Whod you bang
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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