I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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