i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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