was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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