...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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