So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we made out on top of his cat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
