my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
