I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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