How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
