ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
home. puking in laundry basket.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
