i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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