Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
