She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
