Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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