She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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