did you get engaged???
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
