i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
