He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
