He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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