Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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