I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
