Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
