YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
