The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
