I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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