Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
