the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
