he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
