Porn is love you can see.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Randomize
