i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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